THE BLACKMAIL OF OUR CHILDREN

Thanks to the translation done by Sara Cremades González (teacher and philologist), you can read this article in English:

THE BLACKMAIL OF OUR CHILDREN

Blackmail is defined as: «The pressure or threat that is put on a person in order to get something from them».

Babies learn that if they want something, they have to get the attention of their caregivers with one of the most powerful emotions: «crying».

As children they discover that it is also a «weapon» to get things or to make their siblings angry: a typical case is the one we, as older brothers or sisters, have all suffered when the younger ones wanted something and we were not willing to give it to them, they only had to emit a whimper or a fake cry for our parents to come quickly, always with the same phrase: What are you doing to your brother or sister?

The problem is when in adolescence this mechanism is used with intentions that are as worrying as real:

  • The teenager who stands on the outside of the balcony and threatens to let go if he doesn’t get what he wants…
  • The boy who discovers that his grandfather committed suicide by throwing himself onto the train tracks. From that moment on, he only has to add: «I’ll throw myself on the train, just like my grandfather…” to get anything.
  • Those who go out on the balcony shouting to attract the attention of the neighbourhood, to the social shame of the parents who, in order to silence them, give in to their pretensions.
  • Those who shout, threaten and beat their families with the impunity of being minors.
  • Those who make superficial cuts on their arms, proclaiming that they will slit their wrists if their demands are not met.
  • Those who shout that they are «leaving home…», just going to spend a few hours or a couple of days with a friend.

It is actually a game of fear; whoever has the most loses.

The problem is when parents are gripped day and night by this fear that gives free rein to their children’s whims. From then on, we can see how little by little greater fears appear: dropping out of school, risky behaviour, aggression towards others, alcohol or drug consumption, parental abuse or social isolation in the case of technology.

As parents we are obliged to look for help, not from the Internet, but from trained professionals.

Otherwise our daily life will become an inferno and our children will become the devils who will feed the flames.

My next article will be entitled:

«CONDOMS«

CONDOMS

Every week I see minors in my consultation room who tell me that they do not use any method of contraception, with the exception of “the reverse gear”. Curiously, they all know the risks of this practice, especially the famous phrase “before it rains it pours…”, as well as the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, and some of them even recite a few of them to me. Although they rule out this risk, as they know “who they do it with…”, they admit to having problems when they are “a bit” drunk or drugged.

I am surprised by the low use of condoms, but I have come to understand over time what is happening: if a child who has an allowance of 5€ a week is asked to prioritise what to use it on, he/she will first use it on tobacco, alcohol or joints, and if he has any left, on a kebab, what he will not do is buy a box of condoms for the relationships he may have.

Another issue is lubrication in bodies that are just starting to form. One guy told me that he had this issue completely under control, as he used the best lubricant: the oil from his motorbike (a real case).

When the subject of whether the relations were pleasurable came up, all the boys commented that they ended well, although they recognised that they prolonged the tension until they finished, which meant that on more than one occasion they had escaped… Here there were two ways of proceeding: 1st – If the girl was their usual partner or from their group, then they told them about it and usually bought the morning-after pill. 2ª- If it was an occasional encounter with someone they would probably never see again, they didn’t say anything and saved themselves a headache and money.

When it was the girls who were talking, they all agreed that none of them had felt hardly anything, some of them because of their nerves had barely begun to notice anything, but in the end that is what they have learnt from pornography, what is expected of them.

Another group are those who don’t like condoms, they say they have less sensitivity and pleasure so they don’t use them. Here what puzzles me is that the girls consent; but of course, in porn there are hardly any examples of relationships with condoms.

The reader may also think that this only happens with minors who have addiction problems, but that is a mistake, as I see girls and boys from all social classes and many of them with high IQs.

As long as we do nothing about sex education for our children and leave it in the hands of pornography, we will not only be at risk of disease and unwanted pregnancies, but we will be closer and closer to creating a dissatisfied and frustrated porn-generation.

My next article will be entitled:

“Article 155: PARENTAL RIGHTS”.