When Addiction Wears Heels

Women, the great forgotten victims of addictive diseases.

I first met her when she was 13.

At the workshop, when I asked what was most commonly used at her age, she replied

without hesitation: alcohol, vapes, joints. She knew it all. Like almost all of them.

What she didn’t know — or didn’t want to think about — was that none of it was

permitted for minors. Nor did she realise that, in alcohol and tobacco use, girls were

already matching and even surpassing boys.

She didn’t drink “to get drunk”. She drank so as not to feel odd. To fit in. Not to be left

out. On social media, it seemed that all the others were prettier, more confident, happier.

A few drinks helped that insecurity hurt a little less.

I saw her again when she was 32.

Work, children, responsibilities. Always proper. Always dependable.

She no longer drank to fit in. She drank to cope with everything.

In women, dependence can progress more quickly than we imagine. And it often does

not come alone: anxiety, persistent low mood, a constant feeling of not being enough.

But asking for help was not an option. “What would they think if they knew I can’t cope

with my own life?” she told me. The fear of being judged a bad mother weighed more

heavily than the distress itself.

At 61, she was still the same woman.

Widowed. The children living far away. Long nights. The doctor had prescribed

something to help her sleep. Then something for anxiety. All legal. All controlled…

apparently.

There were no longer parties or social pressure. There was silence. And tablets.

At this stage of life, the body tolerates any substance more poorly. Yet hardly anyone

asks. Being a woman, older, and struggling with addiction is a combination that often

goes unnoticed.

In specialist clinics, we treat women. But far fewer than should be coming through our

doors. Not because they are not suffering. But because they remain silent.

Sometimes addiction makes no noise.

It does not break rules in a scandalous way.

It does not fit the classic image many parents carry in their minds.

Sometimes it begins at 13, trying to fit in.

At 30, it disguises itself as strength.

And at 60, it hides in a pill organiser.

And always, at every stage, she is still the same woman.

In the next article, we’ll discuss:

The big lie in the therapy room: “DID YOU UNDERSTAND?”

What if AI knows more about your child than you do?

Who do our children confess to?

When children reach adolescence, something shifts. They start talking less to us.
It’s not that they stop loving us – it’s more like they close off a little, as if what they feel can’t quite be shared with adults.
And if you think your child “tells you everything”, I say this with affection: chances are, they don’t.

In the past, teenagers would confide in their friends. Today, they still do – but there’s another “confidant” in the mix: social media.
Instagram, TikTok or WhatsApp have become emotional diaries where they pour out frustrations, insecurities, crushes, doubts… Sometimes publicly. Other times from hidden accounts, away from adult eyes. Or even completely anonymously.

In that world, they leave behind traces of what they think and feel.
But now, beyond friends and networks, a new “interlocutor” has emerged: Artificial Intelligence.

And the truth is, AI doesn’t need names or surnames. It works with what we share without even realising it: Google searches, social media messages, card purchases, phone locations.

It knows us better by what we do than by what we say. And our children… just the same.

Many teenagers already use it. They ask it everything – from how to solve a maths problem to how to deal with a heartbreak.

And AI responds. Calmly. Without judgement. Without scolding. A voice that’s always available, never tired, and seemingly understanding.

Does that replace a parent, a teacher, a trusted adult? Of course not.
But if that adult isn’t present, or if trust is lacking, it can become a lifeline.

A safe space to ask questions without fear.

I understand this may cause concern. But turning a blind eye isn’t the answer.
AI isn’t the enemy. Nor is it a magical fix. It’s a tool – just like the internet or the mobile phone once were.

What matters isn’t banning it, but teaching how to use it wisely.

Our children aren’t shutting us out. They’re looking for answers.
Sometimes they find them in friends. Sometimes on social media. And increasingly, in AI.

Our challenge as adults isn’t to compete with it – it’s to accompany them.
Because if AI is going to speak to them… let’s make sure they also have a human voice nearby – one that truly listens.

My next article will be titled: “When Addiction Wears Heels”

WHAT COMES FIRST, ILLNESS OR ADDICTION?

The Chicken or the Egg Dilemma

Today, we address a question that deeply concerns many families: what comes first, addiction or mental illness? This dilemma, similar to the chicken and the egg, leads us to reflect on the relationship between these two conditions and their impact on our adolescent children Continue reading “WHAT COMES FIRST, ILLNESS OR ADDICTION?”