Thanks to the translation done by Sara Cremades González (teacher and philologist), you can read this article in English:
THE BLACKMAIL OF OUR CHILDREN
Blackmail is defined as: «The pressure or threat that is put on a person in order to get something from them».
Babies learn that if they want something, they have to get the attention of their caregivers with one of the most powerful emotions: «crying».
As children they discover that it is also a «weapon» to get things or to make their siblings angry: a typical case is the one we, as older brothers or sisters, have all suffered when the younger ones wanted something and we were not willing to give it to them, they only had to emit a whimper or a fake cry for our parents to come quickly, always with the same phrase: What are you doing to your brother or sister?
The problem is when in adolescence this mechanism is used with intentions that are as worrying as real:
- The teenager who stands on the outside of the balcony and threatens to let go if he doesn’t get what he wants…
- The boy who discovers that his grandfather committed suicide by throwing himself onto the train tracks. From that moment on, he only has to add: «I’ll throw myself on the train, just like my grandfather…” to get anything.
- Those who go out on the balcony shouting to attract the attention of the neighbourhood, to the social shame of the parents who, in order to silence them, give in to their pretensions.
- Those who shout, threaten and beat their families with the impunity of being minors.
- Those who make superficial cuts on their arms, proclaiming that they will slit their wrists if their demands are not met.
- Those who shout that they are «leaving home…», just going to spend a few hours or a couple of days with a friend.
It is actually a game of fear; whoever has the most loses.
The problem is when parents are gripped day and night by this fear that gives free rein to their children’s whims. From then on, we can see how little by little greater fears appear: dropping out of school, risky behaviour, aggression towards others, alcohol or drug consumption, parental abuse or social isolation in the case of technology.
As parents we are obliged to look for help, not from the Internet, but from trained professionals.
Otherwise our daily life will become an inferno and our children will become the devils who will feed the flames.
My next article will be entitled: